Death and Depression and Holidays?

Depression does actually take a holiday. There are times in our lives when life is so surreal that we forget we even have depression. We are so not ourselves, that depression does not enter the picture...for awhile. For me that time is now.

My ex-husband died this past week in an accident. Our marriage was ended by him fourteen years ago, not by me. I never stopped loving him and so his death has hit me hard. But I have already grieved over the loss of so much of him way back then and oftentimes since, that I didn't think I would have that many tears left in me. Grief is grief, it has an agenda of its own. We were a family with my daughters and my daughters and I now grieve together and remember the good times and there were a lot of good times. It sure is easier to remember the good and forget the bad when someone is gone.

And depression really does take a rest when really big stuff like this happens. Somehow we are able to cope with big huge things, when on a regular day we can barely sort laundry. Don't ask me to explain such an illness, I only know that it is true. It would be easy to say, 'God, if you can give me a break from this illness right now, when I obviously need the break, then why can't you just heal me of the thing and rid me of it altogether?' It is a good question. I have no answers. I do know though that God is giving me the strength right now to get me through this challenging time.

My depression did not become a full-blown illness until I experienced divorced. Maybe with the closure that I am now experiencing the depression may ebb. I admit that I am hoping it will.

So, my friend, whoever you are...what kind of day are you having? What sort of depression are you experiencing these days? Are you getting the help you need? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you getting fresh air and exercise and spending time only with people who are good for you?

Not sure if I will keep posting this week or not...might need to take a break.

Don't give up, I'm praying for you, I really am!

Wendy Love